


A Kryptonians Heart

by BabdTheCrow



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AU, Danvers Sisters, Depression, Depression warning, F/F, Family, Multi, Thoughts of death, feelings of despair, rape attempt tw, some violence, supercat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-08-12 20:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7947328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabdTheCrow/pseuds/BabdTheCrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kara, feeling defeated and alone, tries to cope with the loss and fear of losing her family and friends.<br/>! I am in the process of writing but while this story is in the process of being written, i will get pulled away often, so my writing gets many unexpected breaks, i apologise!<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This might take a while to write, so please be patient!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (set a little after Astra, ya know...)

Kara's day is as normal as ever: she wakes up with the sun, chooses her clothes for the day, and hustles off to Noonan's for coffee. The process is the same, yet something is somehow... different. Kara is standing in the elevator of CatCo, one of the greatest new outlets in National City, as she contemplates what could be different when someone taps her shoulder, startling her out of her reverie. Winn smiles at her and starts babbling about some video game or another while Kara listens halfheartedly and nodding every so often. The day continues, and still Kara cannot shake the feeling that something is different.

Kara rubs her chest as she inputs Cat's meetings into her calendar, almost everyone having already gone home for the day. Finished with the little work she had, Kara sits back in her chair and takes a deep breath, hoping to dispel the tightening in her chest. Kara startles, realizing that shes been sitting in her chair, staring off at nothing for, she glances at the clock, a good twenty minutes. Gathering her stuff quickly, she leans into Ms Grants office to say goodnight, and heads home.

That night, Kara's dreams are strange, filled with images of krypton in flames, her parents, and Alex, crying out for her to save them, before being engulfed in flames, their words echoing in her ears as she jerks out of bed, landing in a heap on the floor with sweat dripping down her back. The dream had felt so real, it was as if she could feel the heat of the flames eating at her skin. ****Sighing, Kara notices that it wouldn't be worth it to try and sleep again, and takes a chilling shower. ****Kara doesn't really know what to do with the extra time she has, so she spends a few minutes trying to recall as much of her dream as she can, but everything is hazy- all she can seem to remember is the vague feelings of heat, and her parents' and Alex's faces. Yet again Kara is left with a slightly achy chest, and the feeling that things are off... ~TBC~


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get a bit of dialogue here! I dont have a beta, so mistakes are all mine! please review, im not used to posting, so any feed back is welcome! Ill update asap too, so be waiting ;)

As per usual, Kara is sent scurrying into Cat Grants office the moment the woman raises her voice.  
"Wonderful of you to finally join me, Kiera.'' Cat Grants sarcastic tone carry just a hint of pleasure. Ms Grant is certainly happy about something. "I'd like you to lighten my afternoon meetings, and tell those pathetic excuses for editors to get those drafts on my desk in twenty minutes or they'll find themselves cleaning the toilets of a big belly burger!"  
Kara dutifully notes down the meeting changes, and makes a note to email the editing staff immediately. (she also makes a note to restock Ms Grants M&M stash)  
"Yes Ms Grant. Anything else?"  
"Yes," the woman pauses, glancing up from her computer, "Carter will be here after school today, so please be sure to have his snack ready."  
"Right away, Ms Grant. Will he need help with his homework also? I can have my work completed and schedule clear if he does." Kara is always ready to make time fore the younger Grant, finding his company refreshing and pleasing.  
"Mm. Do so just in case. If he doesn't need help I will find something for you to do. You're dismissed."  
Kara simply nods, replies with a 'Yes Ms Grant', and gets back to work. 

A few hours later, Kara is rubbing her chest bone and huffing in frustration. The draft the editors sent up was not only hours late, but the work was pathetic, riddled with spelling errors and run on sentences. If Kara had given this to Ms Grant, she'd have ordered to have their heads on a stick. Finishing the last few touches, she puts the papers in Ms Grants inbox.  
The quiet ding of the private elevator signals Carter's arrival, and the infamous Sunny Danvers smile appears on her face, as bright as ever.  
"Hello Carter, its nice to see you! I hope school went well," she says brightly, handing him his snack.  
Carter grins shyly, "Yeah! I've even made a friend! His name is Micheal and he has a hard time in math too, so we've been helping each other out. He even likes Supergirl!"  
Kara grins at his enthusiasm, delighted hes made a friend, and rests her hand on her chest. Kara and Carter sit at her desk and talk as she tweaks things here and there from drafts that come in, while he munches on various veggies, the air between them comfortable.  
"Kara?" he pipes up after a bout of comfortable silence.  
"Hm?' She hums, and looks at him, her left hand coming to a rest on her shoulder.  
"How come you keep rubbing your chest? Does it hurt?'' He asks, concerned.  
"What? Oh, Its probably stress. A few of the editors have been doing some shoddy work lately, and I've been picking up their slack. It's alright, though, it'll be taken care of." she smiles at him, his concern, although misplaced, is heart warming.  
"Should we get started on some math? I could try and teach you some tricks if you'd like" Kryptonian math, even at Kara's young age, was much more advanced than most math on Earth, making Kara essentially a mathematical prodigy.  
"Sure! That way, when I get home I can play Settlers of Cataan!" Kara laughs and they get started.

Hours later, and they've worked through his entire packet, and Carters understanding of Math has increased exponentially. Hes excited to show Micheal, his friend, the next time they see each other.  
Cat Grant steps out of her office and looks on fondly at her assistant and son, enjoying themselves and working hard. The sight gives her a peculiar fluttering in her stomach, and she squashes it before she can think too hard about it.  
"Carter, the car is downstairs, are you ready?" The boy nods enthusiastically, and stuffs his books into his bag.  
"Hey Mom, did you know Kara is a genius?!"  
"A genius, hm?"  
"Yeah! Kara, tell her your I.Q!" He turns towards his mother "Shes brilliant at math!"  
"N-no, Carter, I- I'm not THAT smart.. I-" Cat cuts Kara off.  
"Well? what IS your IQ? I'm curious to find out." Cat Grant says, amused  
Kara, quietly says, "O-one seventy-seven."  
Cat is speechless. Cat Grant, Queen of All Media, has an assistant that is an extraordinary genius. And she makes her run for coffee.  
"Well." Cat clears her throat, "That certainly is impressive."  
Turning to Carter, she says decisively, "Do you have everything ready?" with an affirmative nod, they make their way to the private elevator.  
"Goodnight Kara! Thanks for all the help, I'll see you next week!"  
"Goodnight Carter, Ms Grant. Drive safely." The elevators slide shut, and Kara is alone.

On her way home, she picks up two large pizzas and some cheesy bread. She devours it all, and falls asleep on her couch to Agents of Shield on Netflix.

That night, more dreams plague her. Yet again she sees Alex's' face, begging for Kara to save her. Only this time, blood drips out of Alex's' mouth, and a blade protrudes from her stomach. The dream shifts, and shes at a cliff, on Krypton, her Aunt Astra turns to her, standing on the edge. There is silence so loud she cant hear the words spoken, only read her lips. 'Why didn't you save me, Kara?' Before the cliffs edge crumbles, and Astra plummets, jolting Kara awake. Breathing heavily and covered in sweat, the dream fades from memory almost immediately. She lays back on the couch, and the only thought to make itself known is ' I should have saved her... Alex didn't kill her, I did. By not saving her.' And Kara drifts into nothingness.  
~TBC~


	3. And the story continues!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my chapters are short but I'm pretty new with writing and I'm trying my best to get better, and ANY tips and tricks and reviews/criticism is oh so VERY welcome <3  
> And I recently joined my schools newspaper, so I'm really excited! Any ways on with the story, enjoy! -Jules

Though Cat would never admit it, her assistant is on her mind quite often, especially in the dark of her home, Carter sleeping in his room. It's  
the only time she lets her mind fully wander into thinking about her assistant- who apparently is an incredible genius. Cat ponders that, and can't help feeling a tad impressed. Anyone else would have flaunted this fact, let it go to their head. But no, not Kara, she's as humble as ever. In the midst of these pondering, a creeping feeling of mild concern settles in the back of her mind. Her young assistant had seemed tired today-something that hadn't ever happened. And cat had seen her rub her chest multiple times today. Then again, even Cat had been run ragged with the incompetent fools that make up the editorial staff, and found herself craving something a little harder than m&m’s… Cat makes a note to tell Kara that, if they don't get their act together, they'd never find an adequate job again.  
With a sigh, Cat Grant retires to bed, dreading having to deal with the fools at work.  
\---------------------------------------

Kara didn't get to sleep for very long. Nightmares of faceless beings screaming, begging for an answer as to why she didn't save them plagued her dreams.  
And so now, Kara sits in her living room, gazing into nothing, and allowing the chaotic sounds of the city to fill her ears- cars gliding over bridges, honking, the chattering of friends as they walk to a bar, the barking dogs and the sounds of electricity zinging through the telephone wires- it all helps to drown out the dread in Kara's heart.  
From the outside, it appears that Kara is simply sitting, staring, but inside Kara is battling the guilt of those she could have saved, but didn't.  
On krypton, she could have made room for her mother, they could have fit, and she wouldn't have failed her home, or, if her pod had left sooner, she could have taken care of Kal-El and fulfilled her parents last wish. If she hadn't gone to live with the Danvers, Alex's’ father would still be here….  
And as all of these thoughts whirl through her mind, she comes to a realisation: she is a burden. She is a burden to all those who care for her. And, do they really care for her? Or do they simply pity her, and her inability to do anything right?  
If that's so… What is she even here for?  
That question repeats itself to Kara all night, until the sun begins to peek through the windows when Kara picks herself up to face the day  
\----------

Kara makes mistakes that day. She spills Cats coffee, sends her the wrong layouts, misses simple errors and walks directly into a custodian cart, knocking the whole thing over, causing the entire floor to stare before helping both Kara and Stan, the custodian up. Kara feels like crying, but Stan laughs it off, lightheartedly telling Kara that he's tripped over the cart a few times himself. Despite his reassurance, Kara doesn't feel like any less of a fool. It's when James comes to see her to ask how she's feeling that Kara's ready for the day to be over. The only thing that lifted her spirits was Carter, whirling into the office and launching himself at Kara in a bear hug and saying hi, before going to do the same with Cat. His cheery chatter keeps her spirits up, and the comfortable silence while they work makes her feel better. However the waterworks almost show when Carter presents her with a gift-a small crooked heart made out of wood. Carter made it in the new whittling elective at his school.  
“I know it's really bad and kinda dumb but I thought you'd like it…” He says bashfully and Kara just wants to scoop him up in her arms and hug him forever.  
“Carter no! It's absolutely perfect, I love it! This is the sweetest gift I've ever gotten.” Carter's eyes light up and it's all she can do to hold back the floodgates of tears.  
Unbeknownst to the two, they were being watched affectionately, for Cat Grant couldn't help the warm feeling spread seeing her son and Kara interacting.  
He's so enthusiastic and open with Kara, something Cat had only seen when they were at home.  
Before she knows it, cat is getting a text notifying her that the car is downstairs, and she realises she's spent the past half hour staring lovingly at her son and assistant. Cat and Carter say goodnight to Kara and head home.  
\-----

In the car, Carter is bothered slightly and this is not missed by his ever watchful mother.  
“Carter?”  
“Hmm?” The boy hums distractedly  
“Carter. What's wrong?” Cat gets angry now, “Did your father say he was-”  
“No, no!” He says quickly, “It's just- Does Kara seem okay to you?”  
Cat is startled by the question  
“What do you mean” she asks carefully, not entirely sure what he means.  
“Well I mean.. She seemed really…” He thinks for a minute, “she seemed really sad today. And she looked tired.” He looks up at his mother and cat feels  
“I did notice she seemed run down. But that's more than likely because of the fools in editing… Why do you say she seemed sad, Carter?”  
“She just seemed sad. Like in here eyes.” He stares intently at his mother “Go easy on her for a while. Okay? Please. I really like Kara, she doesn't treat me like a child or like I'm dumb, and she's always really nice and listens to me…”  
Cats heart softens and she's grateful to Kara even more for making her son feel comfortable.  
“I.. Promise I will go easier on her.” Cat says softly. It had not escaped her attention she seemed tired, and distracted. Cat ponders on Kara's behaviour as their car pulls into the drive, and the thought follow her as she drifts into sleep.  
\----TBC------  



	4. Sneak peek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a snippet of what's to come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Gotta give you guys SOMETHING! I've been slacking... Sorry. Love you guys! ~Jules)

"I...I don't mean to interrupt..." She cuts in, interrupting the bickering, "I don't wanna intrude but... I think I've been shot."  
And suddenly her eyes roll back into her skull and she collapses with thud, not hearing the screams of alarm as her blood pools around her...  
~~~~~


	5. Chapter 5

In the days that pass, Kara doesn't sleep, she stays up all night and stares, plagued by thoughts of uselessness.  
As Supergirl, she saves kittens from trees, and gets car accident victims to hospitals, stopped armed robberies and break ins, but none of this makes her feel useful. Helpful. “Anyone can save a kitten, Kara.” A tiny voice whispers.  
Cops stop robberies all the time. What makes you special? Nothing. Useless, more of a burden than anything.  
Kara's chest aches more when the voices whisper these truths to her, her sadness mounts.  
“Hey Kara,” her sister's voice sounds over the ear piece “We have a little extraterrestrial problem, if you're up for it”  
See? Even Alex thinks you're not good enough. She doesn't want you around. She's practically screaming at you to leave and let humans take care of this. You'll never be human Kara. No matter how hard you try.  
“I'm on my way.” And she shoots through the sky.  
\-------------  
There's chaos and screaming, cars are on fire, a mother and her children are hiding under a cafe table. Kara's overwhelmed, she doesn't know what to do first.  
The centre of this destruction is a man, heat vision sluicing through the air as he laughs maniacally.  
“WHERE ARE YOU, SUPERGIRL?” He shouts, “ARE YOU GOING TO SAVE YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE HUMANS?!”  
It is when he aims his attack toward the mother and children that Kara jolts into action, using her body to shield the family from the heat.  
She guides them to safety, still using her body as a shield and they run to the emergency responders, finally showing to the scene.  
He takes advantage of her distraction and slams into her, sending her sprawling head over cape, knocking the breath out of her.  
Kryptonian. No doubt about it now, Ka-ra, the voice in her head taunts, a sing song lilt echoing through her head. Kara shakes her head hard, trying to lose the disturbing voice when a boot slams into her stomach, sending her crashing through a shop window.  
Groaning, Kara climbs to her feet, Doesn't this feel familiar Kara? Don't you remember Astra? The last of your family, of krypton. The woman you got killed.  
“Why don't you join me, child of Zor-El? They can't hurt us here!” He throws a wild punch, barely catching Kara's jaw.  
“That doesn't mean we can do whatever we want!” Kara snarls, hand gripping her aching jaw.  
The Kryptonian cocks his head, “Doesn't it?” And then his fists are flying, almost too fast for Kara to see, more than one striking her chest and face, the force knocking her breath from her body, her vision doubles and ears ring.  
He doesn't stop hitting her, Kara can't even raise her hands to defend herself and she doesn't know why.  
__What's wrong Kara? Can't even defend yourself now? Useless. You're USELESS. __  
Those words echo through her head like a nuclear bomb, and her knees give way, she no longer even tries to shield herself from him. And then a hail of bullets tear through the air, knocking him off his feet  
Kara raises her head and focuses her eyes, “Alex” she gasps, still out of breath and watches her sister storm towards a near invincible alien with hate in her eyes.  
“You. Hit. My. Sister!” Every word is punctuated with a punch to the downed Kryptonian. DEO agents move in, cuffing him with Kryptonite cuffs and Kara struggles to her feet.  
“Ka- Supergirl, are you okay? Are you hurt? What hap-”  
Alex is cut off by Hank, “Agent Danvers! What were you thinking, charging at an alien combatant?!”  
“I. Kara was in danger! What did you expect me to do?”  
“I expect you to remain level headed! And to let our agents dispatch the threat!” Hank's nearly yelling now, but Alex stands her ground, and they're going back and forth arguing when a throat is cleared behind them.  
"I...I don't mean to interrupt..." She cuts in, interrupting the bickering, "I don't wanna intrude but... I think I've been shot."  
And suddenly her eyes roll back into her skull and she collapses with thud, not hearing the screams of alarm as her blood pools around her.  
Alex is panicking, fear clogging her throat. All the training I've had and I don't know what to do! Alex presses the wound on Kara's stomach hard, tears dripping down her cheeks. Her head pounds in beat with her heart, she can hear Hank shouting for a car. Alex doesn't register herself and Kara being moved to a stretcher, she only whispers in Kara's ear “it's okay Kara, it's gonna be okay, I promise. Just hold on.”  
When Kara starts coughing, and blood comes up, Alex nearly passes out  
_“Oh god, Kara please please don't leave me! Please you're my family!” ___  
The DEO doctors make Alex get off the stretcher while they put her under the sun lamps, then proceed to take the bullet out.  
The doctors let Alex stay next to the stretcher after Alex almost shot one of the nurses who tried to make her leave.  
Hank, in his muddled, worry filled mind, makes a mental note to get the medical staff some apology fruit baskets..  
~~~~~~  
It didn't actually take long to get the bullet out, but to Alex and Hank, it seemed like ages.  
The both vaguely remember Vasquez bringing in coffee, but not much else.  
One of the nurses finally speaks up, “The bullet was lodged in one of her ribs. It's very lucky that it stopped there, or else it could have been much worse. One of the Kryptonite bullets must have ricocheted off of something and hit her. She's stable, and should recover under the sun lamps.” He turns to Alex, “She will be fine, I assure you. You did well, And that kept her alive.”  
Her voice is hoarse, “Thank you, nurse. I appreciate it.”  
“She's alright Alex. She has you looking after her. You did good, Danvers.” Hank squeezes her shoulder, takes a last look at Kara, and departs.  
Alex moves next to the table and grasps Kara's hand and strokes her hair.  
~~~~~~~  
Kara woke up after a few hours, famished, sore, and feeling like a failure-though she kept that last part to herself. She doesn't want to be pitied.  
Alex gets a ton of Chinese and pizza brought to the DEO, and they eat with Vaquez. Well, Kara's mainly eating. She has two pot stickers in her mouth and a third held between chopsticks, she's practically inhaling all the food.  
Alex and Vasquez can't stop laughing, and Kara vaguely notices that those two are sitting closely together..  
She shakes it off and shoves more food in her mouth  
Alex tells a joke that kara has heard a million times, but both Alex and Vasquez find it hysterical  
Annoyingly, the fight blew out Kara's powers. She feels heavy and slow, and very tired. After devouring more food than any person alive should have been able to, she heads home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please keep in mind I have no idea about how medical stuff works, so this is just me winging it!   
> All mistakes are my own, and any help is GREATLY appreciated.  
> Hope you enjoy!   
> Jules~


	6. NOT PART OF STORY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heya guys

so this isn't part of the story and I know I haven't updated and I'm incredibly sorry, I've just been far too busy and stressed, both with school, and my grandmothers health. I do have the unedited next chapter in a draft, and I hope to post it soon. I'm sorry guys! -Jules


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry it's taken so long, my grandmothers health has taken a turn for the worst, but I've been trying to get back on track. I feel really guilty for taking so long, so I hope you forgive me! ~Jules

She walks, feeling a bit too claustrophobic to get a ride in the van. It's a chilly night, lights in buildings twinkling.  
She thinks about the fight, how she froze. How Alex, her very human sister, could take down an alien of her own species, and she couldn't. How she was injured.   
I can't do anything right. I'm useless. Depression creeps in, slowly becoming overwhelming, and her breath quickens. Soon, the world is whirling and her chest is heaving. She turns and runs wildly, and if she could escape the thoughts if she ran fast enough.   
When she finally stops, she's standing in front of a dive bar, music pouring out from the doorway.  
I've never been drunk before..  
And with that one thought, she walks in, and orders whatever she can think of.  
It doesn't take long before th world tilts in a different way. He body feels warm, and she's stumbling, the bartender cuts her off and makes her leave, but Kara likes this feeling. She goes to a corner store and buys bottles of Jack, vodka, whatever sounds good and trips her way home. How Kara got there, she can't really say. Nor how she got to the roof of her apartment, where she now sits.   
On the edge of the building, feet dangling over, she drinks straight from the bottle, head tilted back and staring at the black sky.  
Unconsciously she's mumbling to herself in Kryptonian, nonsensical things about stars and comets, red skies and Rao.  
She doesn't seem to notice when her eyes drift closed, or the bottle slip from her fingers. That is, until she hears it smash on the ground below, and even then she just stares at it uncomprehendingly.  
Something is strange, a distant thought echoes in her head. Oh yeah, you're drunk!  
Kara is giggling uncontrollably when a sudden thought strikes her.  
I want to go for a walk. She struggles to her feet, and teeters on the end of the building, arms waving to keep balance and she laughs. She trips her way down the stairs, bursts out the back exit into an alley and the world spins. She feels a hand on her shoulder and whirls around./  
“Hello, pretty, and what are you doing out here by yourself?” Though his words have a kind tone, she's unnerved by his leery stare. She squeezes her eyes shut tight, trying to clear the bleariness, she can feel his hands stroking her back.   
“Come on, sweetheart, let's have some fun,” he whispers, making her skin crawl.  
“No,” she refuses, but it comes out weak.  
She tries to shove him away, but he just kisses her neck, his hand creeping up her shirt. A sick feeling fills her and she shoves him hard. Hes angry now, even dizzy she can see it. He backhands her hard across the face, and grabs her hard, trying to force her pants down.  
Panic clogs Kara’s throat and she lashes out, catching his eye with a wild fist sending him reeling. A series of haphazard punches and kicks to the genitals and he's on the ground, groaning in pain.  
She’s sobbing, blood running from a split lip. She doesn't look up when he gets off the ground to limp away, spitting curses. Shes falls back and slides down the brick wall to the floor, vision blurred by tears. She shakily pulls her phone put and hits speed dial. A sleep filled voice fills the line   
“Hello?”  
And with that one word, she's sobbing again, barely able to catch her breath.  
“Wh- Hello? What's wrong..?” the voice sounds more awake now, filled with concern/  
Kara’s voice tremors, breathless.  
‘C-Cat..”  
“Kara?” no answer. Panic floods Cat Grants veins, “Kara?!”  
“I… didn't know who else to call,” she's wracked with sobs again, barely able to stutter out a word  
“Kara? Okay, just breathe, in and out… slowly…” she follows the directions automatically, “Good.. now. Tell me what's wrong..”  
“I- He, i didn't know he was there, i thought- i thought i was alone. The alley, he. He tried to-”  
She's hyperventilating, dizzy, feeling like she could throw up at any moment.  
Ice fills Cat's body, processing what her young assistant said.  
“Kara? Where are you? I need you to tell me where you are, so i can find you, okay? “  
After getting Kara’s address, cat throws on clothes, and scrambles to find her keys, thanking her lucky stars Carter is staying with his friend.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Cat pulls up in front of the apartment building, and rushes to the back alley.  
Her heart stops at the sight of her assistant, hugging her knees to her chest and sobbing, bloody faced.   
She walks slowly towards her and crouches down.  
‘Kara?” she speaks softly, not wanting to scare the girl, but is seemingly unsuccessful as her head snaps up to look at Cat. Kara immediately crawls forward and hugs Cat, holding her tight. Cat, shocked, just holds her as she cries.  
Cat doesn't know how much time passes, but she realises that kara has fallen asleep in her arms, the shaking finally stopped. She hates to wake her, but they can't stay in the ally all night. Somehow, she gets Kara off the ground (how can such a small person weigh so much?) and into her car.   
‘It's going to be a long night,’ Cat thinks, searching Kara’s discarded phone for her sisters phone number.


End file.
